ANBU Antics
by Yami no Kaiba
Summary: The Sandaime had a very good reason for giving Umino Iruka two fulltime jobs and no vacation. Too bad for the Godaime, the man never wrote that reason down. KakaIru
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** ANBU Antics 1/2  
**Author:** Yami no Kaiba  
**Fandom:** Naruto  
**Rating for this part:** PG  
**Pairing:** Kakashi/Iruka

**Summary:** The Sandaime had a very good reason for giving Umino Iruka two full-time jobs and no vacation. Too bad for the Godaime, the man never wrote that reason down.  
**Disclaimers:** Masashi Kishimoto owns all Naruto characters.

* * *

Iruka blinked at the missive in his hands. There had to be a mistake. Iruka, for as long as he could remember, simply did **not** get orders from the Hokage to take a vacation. 

The fact that Iruka had never had a vacation from his work, though, was apparently reason enough for the new Godaime Hokage to order him to take a vacation, supposedly for his health. Something about how it was statistically known that people his age needed breaks from everyday stresses periodically.

Inconceivable. There was far too much work to complete to just take a break! This was probably just a clever forgery from one of his students, attempting to get out of a week's worth of class.

Satisfied with figuring out the truth behind the official seeming document, Iruka left it on his table and went about his evening routine of marking the day's quizzes.

* * *

Iruka stumbled a bit as he was shoved out of his classroom, his hastily re-packed shoulder bag banging against his thigh. The other Chuunin Sensei slid the door closed rather loudly, leaving Iruka to blink in confusion as he stared at the physical obstacle baring him from his students. 

Iruka rubbed at the back of his neck. Odd. He was fairly sure he hadn't called in for a substitute. And that **had** been Iruka's morning class...

Huh. He must have forgotten that he had a double shift at the Mission's Office again. Cursing his forgetfulness, Iruka dashed off down the halls.

* * *

Genma broke off balancing a kunai on the tip of his finger by using his chakra, as a harried looking Chuunin rushed through the entrance into the Mission's Office. Tsunade-sama snorted awake at the same time beside him, raising her head blearily up from her impromptu arm pillow. 

The Chuunin -- Umino Iruka, Genma corrected himself as he recognized the other man -- flushed even more as he caught sight of exactly who was in the room and started bowing. "My sincere apologies for being late, Hokage-sama, Genma-san. I forgot I didn't have morning classes, and while I know that isn't excuse enough --"

"Umino-san," Tsunade growled, and Genma whipped his head around to look at the grumpy, inhumanely strong female beside him as she effectively cut off the babbling Chuunin. "What are you doing here? Didn't you get the vacation leave notice I sent you yesterday?"

Genma looked back at the Chuunin, noting how the man seemed both abashed and confused. "But... That was from you?"

Ooo. Genma hadn't known the new Hokage could look that pissed. He made a mental note to send Izumo or Kotetsu to wake her up from now on. "Of course. Who do you think sent it?"

Genma watched as the Chuunin ducked his head and mumbled at the floor even as a bright line of red seemed to make permanent residence along the scar across the man's face.

There was a bang and a crack, and Genma leaned hastily back in his seat as the table under his outstretched arm jerked violently. "Out with it!" the Hokage shouted.

Iruka's head snapped up and the answer came out as one big rush. "I thought one of my student's had forged it!"

Wow. Now that would have been a really neat trick. Genma wished he had thought of doing something similar when he'd been in the Academy. Would have made all those boring lectures his Academy Sensei had given him worth it.

The Hokage growled. "Get out, Umino-san. You're on vacation leave for a week."

The Chuunin hesitated, confusion radiating from his entire frame. "I... No work?" Genma blinked at the childish way the man said it.

"Yes. No work. For a week," the Hokage said in short, clipped sentences. "Now get the hell out before I order Genma here to throw you out."

Genma watched as Iruka nodded mechanically and walked out in a much slower fashion then the man had run in.

Tsunade grumbled beside him about work-a-holic Chuunins and went back to her arm pillow. Sighing in agreement, yet secretly elated that something interesting and non-lethal to anyone had happened during his shift, Genma picked his kunai up once more.

* * *

Iruka went back to his apartment in a daze. 

He officially had vacation leave. Not only that, but a whole **week**'s worth.

What was he supposed to **do**? He could train the whole time, but that would be rather pointless, as he'd have to go right back to his usual routine after a week. He could catch up on some reading he had wanted to do for his classes, but the Hokage had made it very clear that he wasn't supposed to do any work, and anything related to his classes was work.

Blinking and realizing that he'd arrived to his apartment while mulling over and discarding idea after idea, Iruka entered and dropped his shoulder bag on to an open hook of his coat rack.

Iruka stared at his apartment, mentally passing over everything that had to do with his work. It was... surprisingly empty, when looked at in that context. He didn't even have a Shogi set.

Well then... What did people normally do when they had time off?

Iruka thought about it, and remembered how a couple days ago, Asuma-sensei had been handing in a report and a few other Jounin had asked the bearded man out to drinks.

Nodding to himself, Iruka turned around and walked right back out of his apartment, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Mitarashi Anko opened the door to her favorite drinking establish, tired yet happy that she'd finished an ANBU joint mission successfully. Unfortunately, that bastard Hatake had been more annoying than usual, though Anko had been assured by other teammates that such behavior was to be expected out of ANBU personnel... But damn, had the man's attitude rubbed her the wrong way during the mission any worse than it had, she thought she would have been well within her rights to have thrown a kunai at the man's head, pointy end first. 

A collective sigh of disappointment in the room's population caused Anko to snap out of her thoughts and pay attention to her surroundings. There was an overwhelming feeling of impatient **waiting** in the room, and -- hey, wasn't that statue in the corner supposed to have been at the top of the Hokage monument?

Anko walked to an empty stool at the bar, and ordered a drink even as her eyes didn't leave the corner with the statue. She mentally placed the normal locations of other items that were piled in that corner, which unbelievably enough, included the Hokage's hat.

The door's hanging bell tinkled as it was moved, and the attention of a hundred various-levels-of-snookered people's attention swiveled to that door. Anko, curious as to what was going on, looked as well.

Leaning against the doorframe, slouched in the boneless grace of the moderately inebriated, was Umino Iruka, cheeks dusted a charming red. The man was beaming triumphantly at the establishment as he pumped an arm into the air, his hand opening and letting the rolled-up cloth in his hands unfurl enough for Anko to realize what the man was holding -- the 'Everyone-do-your-best' banner from the Mission's Office.

But what made Anko **really** stare even as the entire establishment let out a roar of heartfelt congratulations and the people closest to the door drew the Chuunin into the room, was the modified ANBU armor for tactical support personnel that the brown haired man was wearing.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked in bewilderment, as she watched someone take the banner from Iruka and drop it in the corner with the statue and Hokage's hat as others crowded around the man and plied him with beverages and talk.

There was a giggle from the person beside her. "Heee. Man, you really sood have been here... or is it dere?" The really sloshed person blinked in confusion before shrugging. "Ruki-kun's been here **all** day. Wuz goin' on 'n on 'n on 'n..." a long gulp of whatever drink the person had, "on abou' all da cool things he did when he wuz young'er, 'n som'un -- I dink it was Kishi, doe maybe it wuz Vishi? -- said, 'Nuh uh! You couldn'a have done that!' 'N Ruki-kun said, 'Did so!' and they went back 'n forth, 'n back 'n forth, undil all dis starded."

Anko translated the person's speech from Drunk before asking, "But what **is** this?"

The person blinked at her. "Oh. People are darin' him dat he can'a do things. And then he goes 'n proves dem wrong."

Anko looked at Iruka once more. The Chuunin Sensei was obviously drunk, and Anko should do the nice thing and stop this right now... But that outfit Iruka was wearing reminded Anko of that Hatake bastard.

And well, Iruka was already in deep with whomever he'd stolen the ANBU uniform from, and the Hokage for snitching her hat. Would it really be all that bad if the man did just one more thing for Anko before she sent the poor man home?

Grinning, Anko slammed her drink down on the bar counter and jumped up next to it in order to stand above the crowd. Everyone went quite, and Anko pointed imperiously at the curious Chuunin in stolen ANBU armor. "I bet, that you can't get close enough to Sharingan Kakashi to write 'pervert' on the front of his shirt."

The crowd murmured low, appreciative of the awesome challenge Anko had just leveled. Iruka smiled slowly and secretively at her as he leaned back in his chair and took a long drag from the mug in his hand, never taking his eyes off hers from over the rim before setting the mug down.

"Evidence?"

"A photo."

"Got a camera?"

Anko riffled momentarily in her pockets and tossed it at him.

Iruka caught it rather gracefully. "I accept."

The entire establishment was cheering as the Chuunin stood and slipped out the door.

-- TBC.

A/N: And a URL to one of two fanarts that inspired this story (replace the space with a period):

http://www.deviantart com/deviation/41316217/


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** ANBU Antics 2/2  
**Author:** Yami no Kaiba  
**Fandom:** Naruto  
**Rating:** R  
**Pairing:** Kakashi/Iruka

**Summary:** The Sandaime had a very good reason for giving Umino Iruka two full-time jobs and no vacation. Too bad for the Godaime, the man never wrote that reason down.  
**Disclaimers:** Masashi Kishimoto owns all Naruto characters.

* * *

Iruka was on top of the world. He had a fuzzy feeling that he'd felt this way once before, a long, long time ago and that it hadn't ended well then, but he really couldn't make himself care enough to pay a lot of attention to that since he was feeling so... **relaxed**. 

Iruka hummed a little ditty to himself, swaying along to the beat in his head as he riffled through his desk drawer for a brush and ink, the camera Anko had tossed him already squirreled away in the pockets of his borrowed armor. Maybe this whole vacation thing wasn't so bad after all. He'd had a lot of fun today, reliving a few of his more note worthy exploits, and getting his skills challenged.

Finally finding the items he needed, Iruka closed the desk's drawer and walked back across the ceiling to the window he had entered from.

Now he just needed to find this Sharingan person... And wasn't that just the oddest clan name? Did it have any link to that Western drink he'd had tonight, Sherry Eggnog? He had really liked that one...

Chuckling, Iruka slipped out of his window.

* * *

Kakashi slurped the last of his ramen broth, feeling inordinately pleased with himself. His first mission back in ANBU had gone remarkably well, even considering that he should have been rusty after so many years of being out of the ranks. 

Paying the old man for the bowl, Kakashi picked up the ceramic porcelain animal mask he'd left on the counter for his meal and tied it to his belt. There really was no point to hiding behind it while he was off duty, after all. Not only was his hairstyle and mismatched eyes distinctive enough, but also the type and markings of his ANBU mask were already widely known in every country's bingo book.

"Please, could you tell me where I might find Sharingan-san?"

Kakashi stopped and blinked, one hand still raised to brush the curtain partition of Ichiraku Ramen aside. That voice. It was polite, and oddly slurred. And yet... Kakashi felt as if he should know who that voice belonged to.

Though, who'd ever heard of anyone being called 'Sharingan-san'? He wondered if Obito had ever been addressed that way. If he had been, Kakashi was sure that Obito would have laughed his ass off.

"...Do you mean Hatake-san?" someone else -- female, if Kakashi had to guess -- asked in response.

"No, I mean Sharingan-san. Do you know where I might find him?"

"...You do realize that except for Hatake Kakashi, the only other possible 'Sharingan-san' are missing-nin, right?"

"Oh. Maybe it's him? Are any of the others named Kakashi?"

Kakashi snorted. Whoever it was, they were definitely drunk. Not to the point of falling over, obviously, but definitely drunk.

"No, I'm fairly sure Sasuke and Itachi in no way, shape, or form have 'Kakashi' in their name," the female said in a rather bland voice. "If you're looking for Hatake-san, he went in there a few minutes ago."

"Thank you!"

As Kakashi heard the footsteps approach his semi-hidden position, he debated the pros and cons of being found or using a transportation jutsu to get back to his apartment.

Screw it. Kakashi was in a good mood, he didn't want it to sink because he interacted with a drunk person. Bringing his other hand up he went rapidly through the seals and poofed away.

* * *

Iruka pushed the curtain of Ichiraku Ramen aside, and coughed in a lung full of chakra smoke. Glancing around proved there to be an absence of this Sharingan 'Hatake' Kakashi. 

Hmm. So his target had heard he was coming, eh? Well, no problem. There were few places a ninja could transport easily to, and Iruka assumed that the man had just gone to his home.

Saying his apologies to the Ichiraku Ramen owner, Iruka left the shop and lept away to the Konoha Archives, where Iruka knew everyone, be they ninja or civilian, had to register their address at.

He wondered if there was going to be an increased guard there. He had, after all, broken into the top-level area there three times already today.

* * *

Tsunade was stressed. Stressed like hell, and the day had started out so well, too... 

Morino Ibiki accompanied her down the halls as she marched to the room housing the next complainant. And while the sight of the Hokage wandering around with a high-level ninja was common place enough that most people they passed by wouldn't give it a second glance normally, this was not a normal day.

As could be most notably marked by the neon pink trench coat and bandanna the Torture and Interrogation Specialist was wearing.

The complaints had been coming in like water since just before noon. As soon as one was written and submitted, it seemed almost as if two more popped up. Missing items, defaced property, small, petty things that alone would have made a single ripple but all together made one huge splash.

Worse, the only two suspects she had -- Uzumaki Naruto and Sarutobi Konohamaru, the first of which shouldn't even be in the village at the moment -- didn't match the little info they had on the criminal. Mostly because they were both simply too **young**. And, unbeilivably enough, the newest reports were describing a young man in ANBU armor of the tactical support variety.

She'd already assigned the Tactical Support Teams in ANBU to do inventory in both the stores and their personal property to follow up that lead. Yet until that report was submitted, the only thing of value she could do was listen to the complainant's reports and soothe the minds of the more worried civilians.

Whoever the culprit was, Tsunade vowed to make them do fifty times the amount of paperwork that this entire episode was causing.

* * *

Homura Mitokado sipped his cup of tea as he watched the new Hokage storm through the halls with the oddly colored Jounin beside her. 

His drinking partner chuckled as she watched as well. "You know, this reminds me of that situation about a decade ago... Where's Umino-san?"

Homura eyed Koharu's homemade cookies speculatively. His doctor had told him to cut back on the sweets, but... they **were** Koharu's cookies, and she made the best cookies... "Mmm... Heard he was given vacation leave," he replied absently and attempted to snitch a few from the plate while she was distracted.

His wrist was snatched before he even got close. Drat women and their tendency to chat to one another. "Shouldn't we tell Tsunade-hime?"

Homura shrugged and snapped his wrist out of her grip. "Nah. It'll be a good reminder for her that some things shouldn't be changed for a reason."

"True," Koharu replied, and teasingly picked up a cookie to slowly nibble on, her eyes dancing with mischief.

Women. Homura always knew the Nara clan had been on the right track when they'd pronounced that gender to be troublesome.

* * *

Iruka peered up at the apartment complex, rocking back and forth on his feet. Now... How to approach this? 

Spying a familiar munchkin heading off down the street, Iruka's still quick mind came up with a plan.

"Konohamaru-kun! Wait up!"

* * *

Kakashi frowned as he tried to concentrate. He'd just gotten to one of his favorite parts in Icha Icha Violence when the knocking at his apartment door had started. 

He'd been trying to ignore it for... Kakashi checked the clock. Thirty-six minutes now the person had been out there, and just wasn't taking the hint and going away.

The idiot wasn't even announcing him/herself. Just knocking and going into different rhythms and beats and...

Bah. Kakashi snapped his book closed and swung his legs off the bed as he moved to stand, making sure to be careful as to not roll over his ANBU mask. Good thing he hadn't taken the uniform off yet, it would be helpful in intimidating the bastard to run away.

* * *

Iruka stumbled and fell face first into an armored chest as the door he'd been playing a song on opened inwards. 

He hummed the last few bars of the song with a smile, even as he slipped his inked brush out from where it was tucked in his borrowed pants.

Target acquired, evidence capture was set-up, and... Wait for it --

"Iruka-sensei? What are you -- is that ANBU armor?" Sharingan-san said in surprise, and Iruka could feel the man jerking back.

Underestimation complete. He deployed Operation Distraction with one hand as he worked the kill with the other.

Sharingan-san made the cutest noise and Iruka felt a gloved hand grab at his lower wrist. "Did you just **grope** me?"

Smirking and flicking his wrist to send the now useless brush over the railing to drop into the bushes below, Iruka then shimmied closer into a more erect position. Looking up at the other, Iruka felt vaguely surprised. Kakashi-sensei was Sharingan-san? Huh... "Cute."

Sharingan-san/Kakashi-sensei looked right back with those pretty mismatched eyes. "Excuse me?"

Iruka grinned and let his now free hand to follow the path the captured one had been doing. "You're cute!"

Iruka pouted when Kakashi-sensei caught it as well. "And I'm fairly sure you're drunk," the silver-haired man replied.

Iruka paused to think about it. "I am," he said cheerfully, beaming up at Kakashi. "So... You wan'na?"

"Do I want what?"

Iruka moved one captured hand to poke the other in the armored chest. Kakashi, surprisingly enough, didn't move. "Do you wan'na have sex?"

* * *

Kakashi stared in confusion. What the hell...? 

He needed a little time to think about it. There were things that needed to be considered here, he was sure. "Isn't that a bit cliché?"

"Yeah, but it'll be fun! So, you wan'na?"

There wasn't really an argument for that, but... "How about you ask again when you're not intoxicated?"

Iruka seemed to consider it. "Will you say yes if I do?"

Good question. The Academy Sensei was good looking, but what if this was a sign of some deeper longing of Iruka's? Kakashi wasn't all that sure he wanted a long-term relationship, let alone one with Iruka. "Maybe. Come back tomorrow and find out."

"Ok!" Iruka replied perkily and shook Kakashi's hands off his wrists before pushing away. "See you tomorrow then!"

Kakashi watched as the brown-haired man walked off, an unconscious sway in those hips bringing Kakashi's sight to focus in a little lower than he would usually allow himself to. Not bad... But was it enticing enough to get between the sheets with?

Kakashi closed his door, still musing on his predicament. Turning, he caught sight of himself in his mirror.

Aghast, Kakashi looked down at his chest armor. The katakana for 'e' and 'ro' were there vertically in glistening wet black ink.

Why that scheming little --!

His eyes narrowed, and he felt his lips twitch into a smile as his mind came up with a most evil plan.

So the cute little drunk Chuunin thought he could proposition Hatake Kakashi as a distraction without repercussions, eh?

Time to turn the tables... After he washed the ink off his armor.

* * *

Iruka pouted petulantly as he was pulled down the street. "Anko-chan, really, I'm **fine**. You don't have to take me home..." 

The purple-haired kunoichi snorted and tugged harder. "You've drunk enough for one day, Iruka-sensei."

Perhaps, but that wasn't the point! "But I wasn't done! Michi-san had a really interesting challenge," he whined.

"Well, you have the entire week off, right? You can switch Gai's wardrobe with frilly dresses tomorrow if you still think it's interesting."

Mollified, Iruka stopped protesting and followed happily behind, fingering the photographic evidence of the Sharingan Kakashi Mission he'd retrieved from Konohamaru along with Anko's camera. When he had gotten back to the Chibi Tiki, he'd been adamant in only **showing** the photos to the cheering audience, making sure that they stayed in his hands the entire time.

He liked them a lot. And he figured if there was anything else he was going to keep for remembrance of the night, it would be these pictures with the cute Kakashi-sensei.

Anko brought him right to his apartment building, and gave him a stern order not to go out for the rest of the night, which bizarrely enough involved threats involving a kunai and Iruka's fun bits. Iruka thought it was a bit over the top, and told her she'd do better to threaten to shave him bald instead, and they parted ways from there.

Awww... She was so nice. Iruka waved languidly at her retreating figure before hightailing it up the stairs and to his apartment. Pushing the door in, because he remembered he'd forgotten to lock it on his way out earlier, Iruka traipsed into the room happily.

The door slammed behind him and he was shoved against a wall face first. "Welcome home, Iruka-**sensei**."

Maybe he should have paid more attention to that feeling that things were not going to end well. "Mmmm, hi."

There was a snort from behind him. "Still drunk, I see."

Huh... There'd been only one male person he'd met all day that had seen his intoxicated state as a bad thing. "Hee. Yes. Am I to take it you thought it over?" he asked archly, craning his head to the side enough to glimpse that silver hair.

"I'm still debating the merits of doing it on the couch or the bed," Kakashi replied in a lowered tone, and leaned in to lick against the skin of Iruka's neck just below the hairline.

Iruka shivered and licked his lips. "What's wrong with the wall?"

He could feel the puffs of hot air against his sensitized skin as Kakashi chuckled. "I like the way you think, **Sensei**."

It didn't take that long for the both of them to lose their bulky clothes after that.

Iruka shifted his head to the side so that Kakashi could have better access to his neck, whimpering as Kakashi's still ANBU-issued-gloved hands brushed along his sides. They created precise lines yet with a light enough touch that when Kakashi did it again, Iruka shuddered and shifted, rubbing back against the Jounin's groin.

"Ticklish, **Sensei**?" Kakashi breathed lightly against his ear before licking right below the attached lobe and making Iruka whine again.

"Stop playing and start fucking," Iruka replied, pushing his hips back towards the Jounin once more. He could tell the other was ready to make the next move, and didn't see why the man was still playing around.

* * *

Kakashi chuckled at the Chuunin's insistence. "Patience, Iruka-**sensei**. We've got all night to get to that." 

And they did get to it. Eventually. But only after they'd both left a mess on the wall and Kakashi managed to make the brown-haired man beg for it in the kitchen.

* * *

Iruka woke up with the crappiest of headaches. Groaning, he brought up a hand to shield his eyes from the light leaking through the curtains and rolled over -- 

And tumbled straight onto the floor.

Dazed and blinking to bring everything back into focus, he startled and made a rather embarrassing noise as bushy silver hair popped into his vision coupled with a pale partially masked face. "Morning, Iruka-sensei! You ready for round seven yet?"

Wait, **what**?

Apparently his question got through. "Don't tell me you can't remember? Though I guess it is rather hard to believe. I mean, **I** certainly didn't expect you to be such a cat in the bed. And the wall, and the couch, and the stove --"

"Stop," he pleaded, rubbing his temples. "It's too early to think about this..."

"Too early? My my, I hadn't realized Academy Sensei were so slothful."

"What? What time is it?"

"10 am."

Iruka cursed and scrambled to get up and find his clothes. Warm arms wrapped around him before he could get his second leg into his pants, drawing him up against an even warmer -- and naked, part of his mind cheerfully reminded him -- chest.

A short kiss was placed on the top of his head. "And where do you think you're going, Iruka-**sensei**?"

"To class, obviously," Iruka replied, fighting down the urge to just turn and jump the other man. It was so hard too, what with the knowledge that there must already be a substitute in his place, and it was a down right shame he couldn't remember anything from the night before.

"Really now. So you would rather spend your week long vacation with your students then having mind blowing sex, eh?"

Vacation?

"Or, do you want to do stuff like this the entire week?" Kakashi waved slips of paper in front of Iruka's nose.

Iruka's eyes focused, and he groaned in embarrassment. That was **definitely** him draped all over the silver-haired Jounin. Even with the ANBU armor and Iruka not facing the camera, he could tell that was him.

Turning around, he kissed the Jounin through that black mask. He might as well get something good out of this, and the other **was** offering.

And off went the pants again as Kakashi tumbled them into the bed.

It turned out to be a **very** good week.

And though Iruka did end up getting fingered for the rash of paperwork he'd caused that day and spent the next three months being the new Hokage's personal paper pusher, Iruka didn't mind. Though that indifference might have been because Kakashi visited him several times when he had to stay late at the office.

-- Fin.

A/N: And the URL of the other one of two fanarts that inspired this story (replace the space with a period):

http://www.deviantart com/deviation/41316424/


End file.
